There’s a word that gets thrown around constantly in our culture. It’s used to describe everything from how someone feels about their favourite food to the deepest commitment between two people. It’s used to justify decisions, excuse behaviour, and even defend sin.

That word is LOVE. And because it’s used so carelessly, most people don’t actually know what it means anymore. They think love is a feeling that comes and goes, an emotion triggered by chemistry or attraction. They think love is about finding someone who makes them happy, someone who meets their needs, someone who completes them.

But that’s not what the Bible teaches. Biblical love is something entirely different. And if you’re going to build relationships that honor God, you need to understand what love actually is.

This week, we’re looking at relationships: how we relate to family, friends, and those we’re interested in romantically. But before we can talk about any specific type of relationship, we need to establish the foundation. Every relationship you enter as a believer must be built on one essential element: love.

You can have commitment, attraction, shared history, communication, even sacrifice. But if biblical love is missing, the relationship will never become what God intended it to be.
So the question we need to answer first is: What is biblical love?

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
New King James Version
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;

6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

These verses make one truth unmistakable: biblical love is not primarily a feeling. Biblical love is a sustained commitment to godly action.
The world measures love by feelings, by chemistry, by what someone can do for you. But God measures love by commitment, sacrifice, and selflessness.

1 John 4:7-8
New King James Version
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.

8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

God didn’t just perform the greatest act of love. He is love. Love is His nature. This means we cannot find true love outside of Him. He alone defines it, models it, and supplies the grace to live it out.
And the greatest demonstration of His love is the cross.
God didn’t wait until we cleaned ourselves up to love us. He didn’t wait until we were worthy. He loved us in our mess, in our rebellion, in our sin. And He loved us to the point of death, “By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” (1 John 3:16)

How do we know what love is? We look at the cross. How do we show love? We lay down our lives for others.
Our opinion, our convenience, or our emotions don’t shape love. It is shaped by God’s example. It’s a reflection of His nature and a selflessness that mirrors Christ.

And Jesus makes it clear what kind of love He expects from us.
John 13:34-35
New King James Version
34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.

Notice the standard: love one another as I have loved you. Not as the world loves. Not based on how others treat you. Not when it’s convenient or comfortable. As Christ loved.

This love is countercultural. It doesn’t react based on how others treat us. It doesn’t withdraw when love isn’t reciprocated. It’s not built on feelings, attraction, or what someone can offer us.

It is patient, enduring, and selfless. It challenges a world that measures love by convenience, benefit, or emotion.
And this is the love that should define every relationship a believer enters. So take a moment and examine your relationships through this lens. Your romantic relationships. Your family relationships. Your friendships.

Understand that this kind of love cannot be produced by human strength. You cannot manufacture patience, kindness, selflessness, and endurance on your own. This love flows from one source: God Himself.

John 15:9-12
New King James Version
9 As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.

10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.

11 These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.

12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

To express this love, you must abide in Christ. You must remain in Him through prayer, through the Word, through obedience. You must find your deepest joy in doing His will.

You cannot love like Christ if you’re not living like Christ.
If you’re not spending time in His presence, your love will run dry. If you’re not being filled by Him, you’ll have nothing to pour out.

But when you abide in Him, when you let His love saturate your heart, it will overflow into every relationship. You’ll love the difficult family member. You’ll be patient with the friend who’s been draining. You’ll honor God in your romantic relationship.

Love must be the foundation of every relationship. Without it, everything else crumbles.
You can have shared interests, physical attraction, or commitment, but without love, it will feel like an obligation and fade.

So examine your relationships. What do you see? Where is biblical love present? Where is it missing?
And wherever it’s missing, ask God to fill that gap. Ask Him to pour His love into your heart until it overflows into every relationship you have. Ask Him to teach you to love as He loves.
Because when you love like Christ, the world will see Him through you.

Prayer Point
Father, teach me to love as You love. Fill my heart with Your love so completely that it overflows into every relationship I have. Let my love be patient, selfless, and enduring—a true reflection of Christ.