In these modern times, believers live in a paradox. Technology has made connection easier than ever before, yet loneliness has reached epidemic levels. Believers can scroll through hundreds of contacts, engage in endless group chats, and have tons of online friends and “followers” while remaining utterly unknown.
No accountability, no real friendships and no safety nets for when they go astray.
And this is not God’s design for His people.

From the beginning, God intended all His people to walk and live within a community.

This foundational truth is established in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
New King James Version
9 Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.

10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.

11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;
But how can one be warm alone?

12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Can you see how profound this is? Solomon, through this text, teaches that life was designed to be lived in partnership. When believers fall—not if, but when—they need someone to help them up.

Unfortunately, and in contrast to the belief of many Christians, life can never be a bed of roses. Even Jesus in John 16:33 assures us that in this life we would face tribulations, trials and temptations. But what matters is our response and our safety nets to fall back on when we face these battles.
As King Solomon said, a threefold cord is not quickly broken, but a single strand snaps under pressure.
And this, dear believer, is why kingdom friendships are essential.

Not every friendship qualifies as a kingdom friendship. Believers can have people they laugh with, enjoy being around, and share pleasant moments with. But kingdom friendships operate on a completely different level.

Proverbs 27:17
New King James Version
17 As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.

Examining the analogy the writer of Proverbs used here, one can see that iron sharpens iron through friction, pressure, and heat. One blade scrapes against another, and through that contact, both become sharper.

Kingdom friendships function the same way; they are not about comfort and convenience but about transformation. These friendships are rooted in shared faith, built on mutual encouragement, function through accountability, and are committed to each other’s spiritual growth. They are covenant relationships where believers are known, loved, challenged, and supported.

The Bible provides several powerful models of kingdom friendship, but before we go into the features of a kingdom friendship, let us first examine what a kingdom friendship is not.
We would do this by seeing the story of a friendship in 2 Samuel about the friends Amnon and Jonadab.

2 Samuel‬ ‭13‬:‭3‬-‭5‬ ‭
New King James Version‬‬
3 But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man.

4 And he said to him, “Why are you, the king’s son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”

5 So Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’ ”
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Amnon knew in his heart that his intentions towards Tamar were wrong, but he received counsel from a friend that encouraged him to do wrong.
This is a stellar example of wrong communication and bad friendship. If one reads further in this chapter and book, one would see that this led to the downfall of not only Amnon but also Absalom, his brother and Tamar, his sister.
A single word of wrong counsel caused a spiral of events that affected their generation.

Drawing this in contrast to David and Jonathan’s friendship, we can see a lot of difference.
The truest test of their friendship came when King Saul turned against David and David became a fugitive.

1 Samuel 23:16 reveals Jonathan’s response:
New King James Version
16 Then Jonathan, Saul’s son, arose and went to David in the woods and strengthened his hand in God.

Unlike Jonadab and Amnon, Jonathan went to David in his place of hiding and strengthened his hand in God.
This is what kingdom friends do!

When fellow believers are in the wilderness, discouraged and questioning everything, on the verge of wrong decisions, friends do not abandon them.
They come find them, remind them of God’s promises, point them back to His faithfulness, and help them hold on when they want to let go.

Kingdom friendships have specific features; They celebrate victories without jealousy, are not threatened by others’ growth or blessings, they rejoice genuinely with others and most importantly, they also speak truth when someone is veering off course.

Proverbs 27:6 says,
New King James Version
6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Real Christian friends love enough to tell the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable for the other person. They do not enable sin or compromise, but they speak up: not to judge but to protect.

Another trademark of a friend in the faith is that they are saturated in prayer.
These are people who know what others are battling and actually intercede, standing in the gap and carrying fellow believers in prayer when they are too weak to pray for themselves.

However, the painful reality for many believers today is being surrounded by people but known by no one. They have full church directories, but no one knows what they are struggling with. Because the truth is that authentic friendship and community cannot be experienced without vulnerability.

Equally important is guarding against toxic friendships—relationships that pull believers away from God rather than drawing them closer.

“He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed” (Proverbs 13:20). Who you walk with determines where you end up. The people we spend the most time with shape our thinking, values, decisions, and ultimately our destiny.

While believers are called to be light in dark places, there is a difference between being a witness and being unequally yoked in the closest relationships. The inner circle—the people who have one’s ear, who influence decisions, who shape thinking—those people need to be walking with God.
Unlike Jonadab’s counsel to Amnon, you need to have friends who would relay to you the heart of God and not convince you to carry out the desires of your own heart.

Sometimes, for the sake of one’s walk with Christ, distance must be created from friendships that compromise spiritual life. This is not about being judgmental but about protecting what God is doing within you.

And the final important point for friends in the faith is this:
Believers must not only seek kingdom friendships but be them.

Instead of waiting for someone to show up as the perfect friend, you must become the kind of friend you wish you had. You must be loyal, trustworthy, present, encouraging, honest, the one who shows up, the one who strengthens others’ hands in God, the one who prays, the one who speaks truth in love.

John 15:13-15 records Jesus’ words:
New King James Version
13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

14 You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.

15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.

Jesus modelled ultimate friendship—sacrificial, intimate, transparent, committed. That is the standard for kingdom friendship. Believers must invest in relationships that sharpen them spiritually, pursue friendships where they can be real, known, challenged, and loved, and commit to being that kind of friend to others.

Two are better than one.
A threefold cord is not easily broken, and iron sharpens iron.
This year, more than ever before, remember that you were never meant to walk alone. Do kingdom friendships and do them right.

Prayer Point
Father, thank You for the gift of kingdom friendships. Help me to recognize and value the people You have placed in my life to sharpen me spiritually. And help me to be the kingdom friend others need. In Jesus’ name, Amen.