A great poet once said, “No man is an island.” Man wasn’t created to do life alone or live in isolation. You were meant to engage with others, form connections, and foster relationships. However, due to conflicting ideas or individual dissimilarities, conflicts may arise, resulting to strife. In any relationship, disagreements are inevitable. But as believers, we must make conscious efforts to guard our hearts against strife and offense.

Proverbs 17:14

New King James Version

14 The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore, stop contention before a quarrel starts.

In this text, strife is likened to releasing water. Another translation refers to a break in a dam where the water trickles slowly until it gushes out with full force. For instance, you have a disagreement with a friend, and you choose to suppress it instead of addressing it and unconsciously you begin to count every wrong that that person does until your temper explodes, and so the Bible is telling you to address the issue from the root before it becomes uncontrollable.

Ephesians 4:26-27

New King James Version

26 Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath,

27 nor give place to the devil.

The devil thrives in discord and malice, but you can choose not to give him room. In situations when you have disagreements or fights with others, be sure to address it immediately. Do not give room to the devil. In fact, the Bible is telling you not to let the sun go down on your wrath and that means that you should not hold on to any wrong no matter how angry or hurt you are. God forgave you of all your sins and yes, what that person did hurt you bad, but you can choose to forgive because you know that your heavenly Father also forgave you for so much.

James‬ ‭3‬:‭16‬-‭17‬

New King James V‬‬ersion

16 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.

17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. ‭

Once you find yourself holding on to a friend’s wrongdoing, then strife isn’t far from your doorstep. Rather pursuit peace, be willing to yield and be full of mercy just as scripture charges us. Holding on to hurt and malice would only weaken your bond with the brethren

Ephesians 4:31-32

New King James V‬‬ersion

31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, an evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.

32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Dear believer, you are now a new creature and dead to your flesh. Hence, you must always walk in that consciousness recognizing the fact that God forgave all your transgressions and gave you a new chance and for that reason, it is possible for you to forgive. Nothing good ever comes from strife, anger, malice or bitterness. These are not the fruit of the man of the Spirit but of the flesh which no longer has power over you. Strife destroys friendships, relationships and families therefore refrain from strife and walk in love even when it hurts.

Colossians 3:12-15

New King James Version

12 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering;

13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.

15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body;

These are the fruits evident in a man of the Spirit and so in conflicts or disagreements, you, must always have this at the back of your mind that no matter the gravity of the offence committed, you must forgive and walk in love. Remember that, that person also belongs to God and you both belong to the family of God, therefore respond the way your Father would.

Matthew 5:23-24

New King James V‬‬ersion

23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you,

24 leave your gift there before the altar and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift.

As important as your relationship is with God, He also wants you to be at peace with all men. Therefore, do your best to make things right with others. As Christians, we need to understand that it is not about us but about Christ and so we must make conscious effort to reconcile with those who wrong us. We must learn to die to self and ensure that our heart is always right towards others.

Amos 3:3

New King James Version

3 Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?

To make that relationship work with your parent, friend, or significant other, you must both be on the same page. Here are a few points to note:

1. Learn to communicate your differences in a very amicable manner.
2. Do not give the silent treatment.
3. Address the issue at hand before it becomes worse.
4. Do a heart check every now and then to ensure you heart is in the right place.
5. Walk in love.
6. Pray for all your relationships.
7. Be intentional about making the relationships in your life work.

Prayer Point:

As I go about my day today, I choose to love, I choose to let go of every hurt, I choose to forgive and put strife behind me. I declare that I walk in wisdom concerning all my relationships and I give no room to the enemy in my relationships.